Can I ask Why?

“There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be...” ― John Lennon

There's a saying that 'life is not a bed of roses'. That means that life isn't always easy. There'll be bumps and potholes along the way that can make you lose your balance sometimes.

Whenever calamity strikes, I do try very hard to remain calm. I've read and heard many lectures and sermons about not questioning the Decree of God as it's fate.

The thing is, my lips would remain sealed as I have the power to control it but my heart has a voice of its own. Sometimes, my heart will ask 'why'?

"Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear."

Surah Al Baqara 2:286

When that happens, I'll be tormented by guilt of failing to accept fate. Is my heart rejecting fate by whispering 'why'? Am I doomed to eternal Hell because of my treacherous heart?

So, I asked the Wise Owl if my stubborn heart is defective or beyond help. He explained. ...

My heart is not questioning fate but rather it's silently pleading or making dua for Allah SWT to grant it the understanding and wisdom behind the hardship.

Let's face it, I'm not perfect and there are many things that I still don't understand. Then the Wise Owl shared with me this verse,

"And [mention] when Abraham said, "My Lord, show me how You give life to the dead." [ Allah ] said, "Have you not believed?" He said, "Yes, but [I ask] only that my heart may be satisfied."

Surah Al Baqara 2:260

Then, I understood. My heart was not being rebellious or ungrateful but merely seeking for understanding and clarity. Sometimes, even though we accept our fate, our hearts still need assurance, just like Prophet Ibrahim.

Now, whenever disaster strikes, I don't feel like an ogre anymore whenever my heart speaks. Instead, I ask God to grant me the understanding and wisdom. Sometimes I get it and sometimes I don't but it's ok. 

One thing for sure, He will not place a burden on my soul that I can't handle and that's a promise.