Friday, 30 May 2014


“Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.” ― Brian Tracy

One fine day, I find myself running out of closet space....again! I stood staring at my opened closet wondering how can  that even be possible. I distinctively remember raiding my closet last year and gave away all the clothes that I no longer wear. Wait! Was that 2 years ago?! I started hoarding again!

But what is it that I'm hoarding? It can't be clothes as I have not been clothes shopping for ages. Ok, abaya don't count as clothes shopping because abayas are a necessity for me hence, what can it be?

So, I dived into my closet and started digging.

The Wise Owl always says that we should not be wasteful. He said that people often equates being wasteful to only food but in actual fact, it should apply to every aspect of our lives. For example, we may have one too many clothes that we don't need in our closet or one too many shoes that we don't wear. It's not a matter of whether we can afford to have so many shoes but whether we need all of it.

The Wise Owl also said that we will be questioned by God later on Judgement day, on how we spent every penny that was given to us. O.M.G! I think I might be in trouble! I imagined standing before God, shaking like a leaf, sweating profusely, with very fierce looking Angels standing near me, holding a fiery whip. Then God asked me, "How did you spend the wealth that I bestowed upon you during your lifetime?" Still trembling, I would answer, "Oh, I bought shoes that I never wore and handbags that filled my closet". Suddenly, lightning strike and I hear a booming voice saying, "wasteful!" And I find my pathetic self being thrown into the fiery hell along with my shoes and handbags. Brrrrrrrr.....scary vision....

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, "The two feet of the son of Adam will not move from near his Lord on the Day of Judgement until he is asked about five (matters) concerning his life - how he spent it; about his youth - how he took care of it; about his wealth - how he earned it; and where he spent it; and about that which he acted upon from the knowledge he acquired." [Tirmidhi]

The above hadith reminds me of the story of the Pharaohs. Pharaohs were arrogant kings that accumulated an immense amount of wealth during their lifetime. Their obsession with their wealth was so severe that when they died, their wealth was buried with them in their tombs. They were buried with their jewellery, furniture, clothes, food, pets, wine and even their servants. They believed that all their wealth and treasures can brought with them to their afterlife and bring them comfort.

Honestly, I do not want to be like Pharaoh. I do not want to horde things and keep till my dying breath as I know it would not be of any use to me once I am dead and neither do I wish to be buried with my stuff. However, if I keep collecting stuff and stashing them away in my cupboard, I will be exactly like Pharaoh!

As I rummaged through my closet, I took out all the stuff that I have not  touch or set my eyes upon, for the last 6 months. Chances are, I will never use it. It is better to part with it and give it away to someone who needs it rather than being answerable for it later.

If my scary vision ever come true, I'm hoping that I can mitigate my punishment by saying that I gave most of the stuff away.......

Sunday, 25 May 2014

Beauty is only skin deep.

“Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
― Dorothy Parker

The other day, my eldest daughter worriedly asked me, "Mummy, is it ok if I grow up to be better looking than you?" Honestly, I was taken aback by her question. Why would she ask such a thing? So I told her, "Each of us are created differently by Allah SWT. Some more beautiful than others but whatever it is we must accept what has been given to us. If you grow up to be better looking than me then Alhamdulillah, as that, is God's blessing for you and I would be very happy for you. Don't worry about me. I am happy with the way I am and I am growing old. Just remember to be thankful with whatever you have and be the best that you can be".

I asked her then, why did she ask such question. What she told me got me really angry. She told me that one of her friends, let's call her 'D'; well, D's mum had specifically told her that she must not and will never grow up to be more beautiful than the mother so my daughter was wondering if I felt the same way. What?! Seriously?

I know people keep saying that we shouldn't judge a person until we have walked a mile in their shoes but, what kind of person tells her daughter that she must remain ugly? How can a mother breaks a child's spirit like that? Doesn't she know the effect of such statement on a child's self confidence?

I am not the best mom in the world, in fact I have screwed up more times than getting things right. I still roar at my kids especially when they switch on their 'selective hearing' mode but as parents, we need to protect our kids from all kinds of harm. We have the power to shape our children. We must nurture them with praises but also pull their ears when they need to be corrected. We must never damage or destroy a child's spirit as the scars may be long term or permanent.

Call me judgmental but to me, to say such things to your child is just downright mean.

Hadith - Bukhari (#91) and Muslim

Abu Salmah related that Abu Hurayrah  said, "The Prophet of Allah SAW kissed Hasan ibn 'Ali while Aqra' ibn Habis was sitting nearby.  Aqra' said, 'I have ten children and have never kissed one of them.' The Prophet  SAW looked at him and said, 'Those who show no mercy will be shown no mercy.'"

Beauty is only skin deep and it's temporary. Everyone will age. There is no such thing as an ageless beauty. We should not cling to external beauty as it can be taken away from us in a blink. To cause hurt to another for the sake of beauty is just not worth the sin.

Prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam said, "Allah does not look at your outward appearance and your wealth, rather He looks at your hearts and deeds." [Related by Muslim #1356]

More than anything, I would love to pull the ears of this particular mother but it's not my place to do so. Like the Wise Owl said, I must accept the different types of people created by God and just pray that they change for the better. Still, I can't help feeling sorry for 'D'. I fervently pray that she will grow up strong and become a beautiful person, inside out, Ameen.....