Thursday, 24 November 2016

Can you keep a secret?

“Sometimes, loyalty gets in the way of what you want to do. Sometimes, it’s not your secret to tell.” ― Stephenie Meyer

During my uni days, I was pretty much a loner. 

It was a personal choice. Mostly because I was bogged down with course work and assignments to even have time to socialize and partly because I was wary of people. You know the phrase, 'once bitten twice shy', well after been back-stabbed many times by the people whom I trusted,  kinda put me off people.

Now, after many years, I have learnt to trust again and let a little bit of myself go.Alhamdulillah, I have a group of friends whom I find that I can rely upon as my 'go-to place when I need to scream' and of course, dear hubby is often to the rescue.

Perhaps it's my naivety or maybe it's just me wanting to think to best of a person, but I had to learn the hard way again that not everyone can be trusted to be your 'confidant'. 

Most of us fail to understand that every one has problems. Some deal with it better than other. I know people who can just simply brush off whatever problem that cropped up and some who loses sleep over the smallest thing.

Different people deal with problems differently. Some need to talk it out, get it off their chest and unleash their frustration. That's why we find people seeking the help of a psychiatrist. They just need someone to listen without being judgmental. 

Some people on the other hand, keep everything bottled up inside until one day, they explode. Often we hear about individuals who ran amuk, killing innocents victims in its wake. 

I've been in similar situation many times before. I am a very vocal type of person and whenever a problem arises, I feel the need to talk it out and get it of my chest. After that, I would feel much better and be in better position to think of a solution. It's like hearing myself rant and thinking out loud. If I find that I can't fix the problem, I know it's time to move on. 

I also have friends who are like me. They just need a sounding board or a listening ear. Trust me, these ears have heard plenty!

The thing is, whatever the story, complaints, lamentations or grouses that we hear, are only meant for our ears only. It's not meant to be told to anyone especially the person whom our friend is whining about or complaining against. That is why it is called 'in-confidant'. This is really some serious stuff - TRUST. We must always remember that it's not our story to tell and not our place to judge. We are strictly listeners. 

Narrated from Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If a man tells you something then looks around, it is a trust.” 

Hadith Tirmidhi

By breaking the trust that was given, not only that we may have spread 'fitna' but also created animosity amongst 2 person hence breaking up their friendship or kinship or literally, sinking their 'ships'. 

No one likes to be betrayed. Don't be a back-stabber.

So, think before you speak or judge...

"And [remember] when the Prophet confided to one of his wives a statement; and when she informed [another] of it and Allah showed it to him, he made known part of it and ignored a part. And when he informed her about it, she said, "Who told you this?" He said, "I was informed by the Knowing, the Acquainted."

Quran 66:3

It was narrated from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are four qualities, whoever has all of them is a pure hypocrite, and whoever has some of them has a characteristic of hypocrisy until he gives it up: when he is entrusted with something he betrays that trust; when he speaks he lies; when he makes a promise he breaks it, and when he disputes he resorts to lies and falsehood.” 

Hadith Bukhari

No comments:

Post a Comment