Friday, 25 April 2014

To Forgive but not to Forget?

“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”
― Will Smith
What do you do when someone insults you? What would do if your friend hurt your feelings? What would you do if a member of your family breaks your heart into tiny pieces?
Instinctively, you would want to fight back. Tit for tat. If someone verbally abused you, naturally, you would want to retort back. Give them an equal lashing in return. But, the question is, is it worth it? If it's a close friend or worse, a family member, then whatever you might say in the spur of the moment, may tarnish the relationship forever. More often than not, you would probably end up feeling even worse than before.
´A man said, 'O Messenger of Allah, tell me of a good deed that will grant me entrance to Paradise.' The Prophet (s) said, 'Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, establish regular prayer, pay zakat and uphold the ties of kinship.'
(Bukhari and Muslim)
The thing is, we are all only human. I too, am only human. I bleed when I fall and I also experience hurt. To forgive a single act of wrong is easy but to forgive a continuous intentional acts of wrong requires tremendous effort and faith. It is especially difficult when the wrongdoer never apologised. I always felt that I should not forgive the wrongdoer if the person never bothered to say 'sorry'. I was determined to wait for this person on Judgement day and state my case before Allah SWT. Pretty vindictive huh?
Anyway, the Wise Owl told me once upon a time ago, "Sister, forgive and let go. Forget about what this person did to you. It does not matter if this person never apologised or keep on hurting you. Let Allah SWT deals with this person. You need to keep your heart free of any negativity. Throw away the hurt and grudge. Your patience will definitely be rewarded. Those kind of people do not deserved a place in your heart. Save your heart for Allah SWT and your loved ones."
“Let not those among you who are endued with grace and amplitude of means resolve by oath against helping their kinsmen, those in want and those who migrated in the path of Allah. Let them forgive and overlook. Do you not wish that Allah should forgive you? Indeed Allah is oft-Forgiving, most Merciful.” (Qur’an, 24:22)
What the Wise Owl said is absolutely true. We shouldn't waste our time thinking of 'why' or 'what' this person did this or that. Chances are, these people are just miserable in nature and they will only be happy when they make others miserable.
When someone insults or hurt you, try walking away, forgive and forget. It can done really, just need a little practise. The temptation to kill would be overwhelming but please resist! Don't let these people be the reason for your folly. Trust me, these people are not worth you going to jail or Hell.
´The person who breaks the ties of kinship will never enter Paradise.
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Let us be the better person and have mercy in our hearts. Now, I do try as much as possible to walk away, forgive and forget, though there were days when my temper got the better of me. I realised that I don't want to complain against anyone on on Judgement day as I would be busy worrying about my own fate. Let the wrongdoer face God Almighty on his or her own.
I want to be happy and  one of the ways to stay happy is not to let anyone else spoil it. Agree?
“Those who show no mercy to others will have no mercy shown to them by Allah.” [Muslim]

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