I am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in that I am both "Great and Terrible" and because I sometimes hide behind the curtains” ― Jenny Lawson,
A couple years ago, if you asked me if I consider becoming a housewife or a ‘stay-at-home-mom’ (SAHM), I would have given you a good solid ‘NO’. In fact, many eons years ago having a child was the very last thing on my mind.
I was never the motherly type. Somehow I lacked the ‘maternal instincts’ when I was younger. Instead of playing with dolls, I very much prefer to play with my dad’s tools.
Anyway, here I am at 40 years old and with 4 kids. Since I went into ‘semi-retirement’, I found that time spend with my kids are indeed precious and no money in the world can ever substitute it.
I have renewed respect for SAHM. Their jobs, I must say is the toughest one ever. Let us make a comparison with a surgeon. A surgeon makes between 7-6 figures monthly, ‘on-call’ one or twice a week perhaps and is able go on long luxury holidays at least once a year without being disturbed. SAHM offers little or no pay at all and very long hours. You are ‘on-call’ 24-7 so even if you are on holiday, you are working. The only time when you are not being disturbed is when you are in the toilet but even then, those are the lucky few. Now, tell me, which of the two is the toughest job?
The thing is, not all women can be SAHM. Some are just not cut out to do it. I know that I can’t that is why I’m a part-time SAHM (if there is such a thing!). I have met some dedicated SAHM with enormous patience with their kids that I would look like the devil standing next to them.
The sacrifices that they make i.e. the opportunity to make their own money (by working), their time and sometimes, their sanity; are sacrifices that not everyone is willing to make. For SAHM, their satisfaction come from seeing their children grow up confidently and successfully and not being seen with the latest Prada or Chanel.
Oh I forgot, SAHM not only have to take care of the kids but also the house and not forgetting the husband.
I don’t know if I will ever be fully domesticated or a full time SAHM. I am still ‘working’ as it preserves my sanity but I am more at home now than ever. I got to know my kids better and learn to appreciate the simpler things in life such as sitting with your 5 year old watching ‘Shaun the Sheep’ and laughing hysterically with him. Or when your 13 year old comes and tell you about her ‘girls’ problems instead of going to her friends. Just the other day, my son came back from school and said, “Mummy, today we played problem solving game so if you have any problem just let me know and I can solve it for you”. My heart melted just hearing it.
Being a mom is a gift from God Al mighty and not just a responsibility. I take my hats off the SAHM for they have indeed found the true treasure in their gifts and understood it fully hence they are able to reap the full pleasure from it. For me now, I shall remain a part-time domesticated diva…….
“A woman who gives birth gets the reward of 70 years of salaat (prayer) and fasting. For each vein that feels pain, Allah SWT gives her the reward of one accepted hajj (Pilgrimage to Makkah).”
“Nabi SAW is reported to have also said 'When her labour pains commence, the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her child, then she will be granted a reward for every gulp of milk, if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of the child, she will receive the reword of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah Ta'ala. O Salaamat! Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, with a delicate nature yet obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them'