I am the Wizard of Oz of
housewives (in that I am both "Great and Terrible" and because I
sometimes hide behind the curtains” ― Jenny Lawson,
A couple years ago, if you asked me
if I consider becoming a housewife or a ‘stay-at-home-mom’ (SAHM), I would have
given you a good solid ‘NO’. In
fact, many eons years ago having a child was the very last thing on my mind.
I was never the motherly type.
Somehow I lacked the ‘maternal instincts’ when I was younger. Instead of
playing with dolls, I very much prefer to play with my dad’s tools.
Anyway, here I am at 40 years old
and with 4 kids. Since I went into ‘semi-retirement’, I found that time spend
with my kids are indeed precious and no money in the world can ever substitute
it.
I have renewed respect for SAHM.
Their jobs, I must say is the toughest one ever. Let us make a comparison with
a surgeon. A surgeon makes between 7-6 figures monthly, ‘on-call’ one or twice
a week perhaps and is able go on long luxury holidays at least once a year
without being disturbed. SAHM offers little or no pay at all and very long
hours. You are ‘on-call’ 24-7 so even if you are on holiday, you are working. The
only time when you are not being disturbed is when you are in the toilet but
even then, those are the lucky few. Now, tell me, which of the two is the
toughest job?
The thing is, not all women can be
SAHM. Some are just not cut out to do it. I know that I can’t that is why I’m a
part-time SAHM (if there is such a thing!). I have met some dedicated SAHM with
enormous patience with their kids that I would look like the devil standing
next to them.
The sacrifices that they make i.e. the
opportunity to make their own money (by working), their time and sometimes,
their sanity; are sacrifices that not everyone is willing to make. For SAHM,
their satisfaction come from seeing their children grow up confidently and
successfully and not being seen with the latest Prada or Chanel.
Oh I forgot, SAHM not only have to
take care of the kids but also the house and not forgetting the husband.
I don’t know if I will ever be fully
domesticated or a full time SAHM. I am still ‘working’ as it preserves my
sanity but I am more at home now than ever. I got to know my kids better and
learn to appreciate the simpler things in life such as sitting with your 5 year
old watching ‘Shaun the Sheep’ and laughing hysterically with him. Or when your
13 year old comes and tell you about her ‘girls’ problems instead of going to
her friends. Just the other day, my son came back from school and said, “Mummy,
today we played problem solving game so if you have any problem just let me
know and I can solve it for you”. My heart melted just hearing it.
Being a mom is a gift from God Al mighty
and not just a responsibility. I take my hats off the SAHM for they have indeed
found the true treasure in their gifts and understood it fully hence they are
able to reap the full pleasure from it. For me now, I shall remain a part-time
domesticated diva…….
“A
woman who gives birth gets the reward of 70 years of salaat (prayer) and
fasting. For each vein that feels pain, Allah SWT gives her the reward of one
accepted hajj (Pilgrimage to Makkah).”
(Hadith)
“Nabi SAW is reported to have also said 'When her labour pains
commence, the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of
comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her
child, then she will be granted a reward for every gulp of milk, if she had to
remain awake during the night for the sake of the child, she will receive the
reword of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah Ta'ala. O Salaamat!
Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, with a delicate
nature yet obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them'
(hadith)
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