Key to Paradise....

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”  Abraham Lincoln

You know, there are days where my sanity hangs by a thread. I get things thrown in my path from different directions. There are days when I become master juggler, trying to get as much done in a day. It’s not easy being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and counselor all at the same time.

For the mothers out there, I’m sure you completely understand when I say there are days when your kids overwhelm you. The constant bickering among them and the endless complaints makes you wanna run away from home sometimes. My kids would wait until I step into the bathroom if they want to ask me for something. I kid you not! The moment the bathroom door closes, I can instantly hear my bedroom door open (it is as if they have six sense about me entering the toilet!) and then they will be shouting from outside bathroom, “Mummy, can you make a drink, Mummy, can you change the channel for me? Mummy, I want to use your bathroom! Mummy, Fluffy ran away, Mummy, Mummy Mummy..”

All I can say, it is absolutely normal for mothers to feel suffocated sometimes. Don’t feel bad. We are not evil or a bad mother just because we have our ‘off’ days. We are human and we too need our own space at times. There were instances that I wished the ‘mute’ button was invented so I could have a few moments of peace; or that the ‘Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak’ does exist and I could borrow it for a spell. I would still be in the house to watch over them, just they can’t see me.

            As exhausting as it sounds, I wouldn’t actually change it for anything plus, I do get to escape from it all when I go to work. Did you know that in Islam, a mother has a higher status than a father?

“A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet (PBUH) said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim)

For the children, always remember that a mother risks her life every time she delivers a baby into this world. For the husbands, remember that your wives sacrificed their bodies to carry YOUR child, YOUR descendents for 9 months and then sacrificed her time and energy to bring up the child. So cut her some slack about how she looks after popping out 3 or 4 kids out of her tiny body. If you think it is easy to regain one’s original shape after birth, you try it !

            We must never forget that our Jannah is at our mother’s feet.

“A man once consulted the Prophet Muhammad about taking part in a military campaign. The Prophet asked the man if his mother was still living. When told that she was alive, the Prophet said: “(Then) stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet.” (Al-Tirmidhi)

For the men, even after marriage, their Jannah is still at the mother’s feet. Nothing can ever change that. So, be nice to your mothers even after marriage. Your mother has priority over your wife but that does not mean that the mother has the right to be mean or nasty to the daughter in law. Everything is about balance.

            For the wives, your Jannah is shifted to your husbands the moment you get married.

            Hadith - Transmitted by Tirmidhi, Narrated Umm Salamah ra

The Prophet SAW said: If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.

Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3254, Narrated Anas ibn Malik
Allah's Messenger said, "When a woman observes the five times of prayer, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any of the gates of Paradise she wishes."

Having said that it does not mean that you should stop respecting and caring for your mother. However busy you are with your own family, find time for your mother.

            We do not know how much time we still have with our mothers before they are called by our Maker. Appreciate them now. No point regretting after they are gone……..