"Allahu akbar kabira walhamdu lillahi kathira wasubhanallahhi bukratau waasila. Wajjahtu wajhia lillazi fataras sama wati wal ardha hanifam muslima wama ana minal musyrikin. Inna solati wanusuki wamahyaya wammamati lillahi rabbil’alamin. La syarikalahu wabiza lika umirtu wa ana minal muslimin."
"Allah is ever greatest, Much praise be to Allah. Glory to Him morning and evening. I turn may face to Him who created the heavens and earth, a pure montheist, in submission , and am not of those who associate others with Him. My prayer, worship, life, and death are for Allah, Lord of the Worlds, who has no partner. Thus I have been commanded, and I am of those who submit."
This is the dua that we recite at the opening of our prayers. For years, I recited it without knowing the meaning. One fine day, many many years ago, I finally found out from the Wise Owl the meaning of the dua. To be honest, I've never felt like a big fat liar like I did that day.
Here's the reason why. In the dua, I'm actually making a declaration to God Almighty that 'my prayer, worship and life is for Him'. Is that true? Well, I can safely say that it's not. If my life had been for Him, then, I wouldn't have done the things I did before. I knew that I needed to stop lying to my Creator.
So, I stopped reciting the dua in fear of God's wrath towards me for being a liar and a hypocrite. I dare not make promises that I can't keep or guarantee that I can ensure that 'My prayer, worship, life, and death are for Allah, Lord of the Worlds'. Is that even possible in this current time?
It wasn't until when I went for hajj that I had the guts to start reciting the dua again. It was my intention to devote my 43 days in Holy land for Him and tried I did. Whether it was enough or even accepted, I leave it entirely to Him. I figured that even if I incur the wrath of God and die, at least I died trying, in the Holy land.
During hajj, all I did was pray, dhikr, recite Qur'an, eat, sleep and performed other sunnah acts, every single day. It became my daily routine. My entire time there was entirely devoted to Him. It was only then I realised that to be able to give 100% of one's time to Him is actually a blessing and privilege given by Him to His servants. He removes all obstacles and worries from the person so that the heart is at peace and is able to worship Him better.
If you ever come across the opportunity, grab it and don't waste it as you may not get a second chance.
To me, to be able to devote one's entire time in worship without worries or obstacles was nothing short of a miraculous gift. It was sheer bliss.
I would give anything to have that privilege again but alas it's not just possible. Perhaps, that's why they call it 'a journey of a lifetime'. Still, I harbour the hope and dream of getting a second or even third chance again...Ameen.....
"So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me."