“Modesty is invisibility...Never forget it. To be seen—to be seen—is to be...penetrated. What you must be girls, is impenetrable.” ― Margaret Atwood,
Even during my ignorant days, I knew that donning the hijab is compulsory for a Muslim woman. Actually, covering of the awra is not just about covering one's head but it's also about preserving one's modesty.
One of the things that kept me back from wearing the hijab was that I was afraid of becoming unpopular amongst friends and guys. You must understand that in the year 1990, things were very much different from now. Young women with hijab were either from an Islamic school or very strict family background. I was neither. Also, during that time, hijab was not as fashionable as it is now.
Anyway, I was 20 years old when I decided to wear hijab. To tell you honestly, making the decision and the act of wearing hijab was not difficult at all but keeping the hijab on proved to be somewhat of a challenge. I did get the urge to take it off but I persisted. Back then, most of my friends were not wearing hijab so I kinda felt alone but I knew that I had to be strong in sticking to my decision.
Once, a member of our extended family commented that I looked ugly in hijab. As much as I wanted to slap her silly, I refrained because she was very much older than me so instead I told her to mind her own business and not to be bothered with the way I looked. Still, I must admit that her comment did create a grain of doubt in my heart. What if no men wants to marry me because they find me unattractive in hijab? Will I end up an old maid with only my cat mourning my death?
Allah keeps firm those who believe, with the firm word, in worldly life and in the Hereafter. And Allah sends astray the wrongdoers. And Allah does what He wills.”
Surah Ibrahim 14:27
In the end, I told my heart to stop doing flip flop and trust God's commandments. My intention to wear the hijab was to please Him not people. If I take care of my relationship with Him then He will take care of me. My hijab is a constant reminder of who I am.
"So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief:"
Surah Al Sharh 94:5
My advice to my sisters, if you have just started wearing hijab, just ignore any negative comments that you get. If a man dislike you because of your hijab then he is not fit to be your imam. As queen, you deserve to have the best possible king, one who will love you for your inner beauty rather than your appearance.
If any of your friends or family members say that you look ugly or unattractive, just remember that it is not them that you need to please plus it could be they are feeling envious. If your friends leave you then they are not true friends after all and rest assure that God will send you new and better friends.
If you haven't don the hijab but have been thinking about it, close your eyes, take a deep breath and just do it. There isn't any need to ponder or over think matters. Ignore the doubts and the satanic whisperings. Trust me, you won't regret it. It could very well be that you have made one of the best decisions in your life.....