Thursday, 13 March 2014

To Say 'I Do'.........

A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”
― Dave Meurer
Recently, I had the pleasure of attending a very special wedding. What's so special about it, you may ask? Well, I can tell you that it was not the decor or the bride's dress but it was the story of how the bride and the groom came together.
Both bride and groom are still very young. They are still in their 20s. (Gosh I feel sooo old!). The thing is you see, their marriage was an arranged marriage. The beauty of it is that it was not arranged by their parents but it was arranged by them with the help of their friends. Confused?
Allow me to explain. The bride and groom followed the Islamic way of choosing a partner. They were recommended for each by a mutual friend. Then, they got to know each also through friends and finally, they met face to face accompanied by friends. To make the story short, they decided to get married.
The interesting thing is that they never dated. They made sure that everything was done in accordance to Islamic principles.
I have the deepest respect for them for having the faith and courage to do something I couldn't do at their age. Even at their young age, they are putting their complete trust in God for their happiness. They truly understood the meaning of 'tawakkal'.
Some may might say that an arranged marriage is akin to marrying a complete stranger hence it's quite suicidal. The bride or even the groom might be a psychopath or a raving lunatic. But then again, how can one be completely sure that a person whom he or she has dated for years will be the perfect mate?
For example, I do have friends who dated for years and their love story was more romantic and tragic than 'Romeo and Juliet' but their marriage only lasted a year or two. When asked for the reason for the divorce, the reply I got was, "he or she wasn't the man or woman I married" or "the romance had sizzled out". In some cases, it is even worst as the prince charming that they dated prior to marriage turned out to be an abusive monster who use their wives as punching bags!
In view of the above, perhaps marrying a stranger and falling in love after marriage, might be a good idea after all. One thing for sure, one wouldn't be committing any sin. As far as the risks are concerned, I do believe it's more or less the same.
The point I'm trying to make is, our beautiful religion has laid down guidelines on matrimonial matters. God always have our best interest at Heart hence He will not give us a marriage formula that will not work. If it doesn't work, it could very well mean that we didn't do it right.
The Wise Owl once told me that if we do a certain act for the sake of Allah SWT, and wants our deeds to be accepted and blessed, then, it must be done in accordance to His Wishes otherwise, it would be completely futile. Perhaps, it's time for us to finally start paying attention and get it right once and for all.......
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly in these are signs for those who reflect." [Noble Quran 30:21]
"O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." [Al-Bukhari]


  1. Assalaam aleykum wa rahmatullah dear sister,
    Alhamdurrahmaan how beautiful to see my brothers and sisters all over the world spreading islamic teachings mashaAllah.
    And I can only agree with you, loving someone for the sake of Allah guarantees eternal love for Allah swt is eternal Himself, so I as well can only encourage brothers and sisters to keep it on His track in shaa Allah. May He strengthen us in His beautiful deen, ameen -
    love and blessings wa Salaam aleykum wa rahmatullah

    1. Waalaykumsalam waramatullahiwabarakahtu. I believe we each do whatever little we can for our deen, in our own way. Alhamdulillah....