“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't
try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need
others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or
her.” ― Lao Tzu
Acceptance is one of the most powerful word. It is
something that I do have trouble practicing sometimes.
As human, we tend to be
judgmental even though at times, it is unintentional. In Islam, everything
starts with an ‘intention’ but often we
do things unintentionally but has far reaching effect that is not always good.
One of it is judging.
When we see a man driving a
brand new 5 series BMW, immediately, we assume that the man is rich but when we
see a person driving a battered old car, we are quick to assume that the person
is poor. When we judge a person, we also have certain expectation of him or her
and our behavior towards them also change.
I am also guilty of doing that
sometimes. It’s an impulsive thing. I know that is no excuse so I must strive
harder to control my thoughts. I don’t like it when people judge me so I must
not do the same with other.
I have learnt a long time ago that human are hard to
please. I stopped trying to please everyone a very long time ago. Now, I only
please myself and loved ones. Others, if they are unhappy with me, they can
carry on being unhappy. Harsh as it sounds, it is actually true. I live my life
the way it makes me happy. I never impose on others and I never bother other
people. I mind my own business. I am very happy in my own little cocoon. I have
a long list of flaws because I’m human but bottom line is…my flaws do not
affect or disturb others. My husband is attuned to my flaws and he has accepted
me as I am.
My friends and loved ones have also accepted me as I am. They
have never tried to change me nor do they try censor me. As far as they are
concern, anything that makes me happy, make them happy. Because of that, I have
also learnt to accept my husband and also friends plus loved ones as they are.
The Wise Owl had once told me that if we question the
character or physical attributes of a person, then we are actually questioning
God. SubhanAllah!!!! I am not qualified to question God. If a man loves to wear
pink, let him be. God has created him as such so just accept him. His pink fascination
does not bother people so let him be happy in pink. It could also be that the
love of his life adores him in pink…Que sera sera..
Unfortunately, people
nowadays are quite judgmental. If you walk into a posh restaurant wearing flip
flop, chances are the waiters will ignore you thinking that you don’t have
money to dine there, even if you are a millionaire. People do judge us from our
appearance. Judging people on their appearance is actually an act of snobbery.
We tend look down on those who do not dress to kill or those who wears clothes that
have seen better days but in actual fact, they may be a better person than us.
A hard lesson that I have
learnt is that the ones who dress modestly or simply, are more often than not,
beautiful people. They are very beautiful from within. Their hearts are pure
and kind. They treat you as equal and accord you with the highest form of
respect. The ones who are smartly or expansively dress are sometime the ugliest
people whom I have ever met, but not all. Their hearts are filled with jealousy
and disgust. They hold themselves in high esteem but look down on everyone
else. These people are poor company.
Hamdun al-Qassar, one of the great early Muslims, said, “If a friend among your friends errs,
make seventy excuses for them. If your hearts are unable to do this, then know
that the shortcoming is in your own selves.” [Imam Bayhaqi, Shu`ab al-Iman,7.522]
“Prophet Muhammad said "Should you become eager to
mention another’s faults, recall your own."
Hadith
The
Messenger of Allah pbuh said "A man said: 'By ALLAH, ALLAH will not forgive So-and-so.' At this ALLAH
the Almighty said: 'Who is he who swears by Me that I will not forgive
So-and-so? Verily I have forgiven So-and-so and have nullified your [own good]
deeds
Hadith
Qudsi 131. Narrated by Muslim
Being judgmental is actually
a form or arrogance. We have to be very careful about arrogance in our heart,
no matter how small. It may be a tiny dot today but it may grow bigger
tomorrow.
“Prophet (S.A.W.) said, "One will not enter Paradise, if one
has an atom’s weight of arrogance in his/her heart."
Hadith
Tirmidhi
Prophet SAW said
"Allah is beautiful and loves beauty, arrogance is: rejecting the truth and
looking down on people."
Hadith Tirmidhi
Arrogance is also a trait of satan. I don’t know about you but I’m not
keen to be equated with satan. I may have my weaknesses and flaws but being a fan
of satan is something that I am not so I must not follow or adopt its traits.
Surah Al-a’raf 7:11-13
The Wise Owl once told me that, Satan had made a vow to Allah SWT that
it will strive to lead human astray until Judgment day. By having a tiny speck
of arrogance in my heart, it means that satan had succeeded in leading me astray.
OMG!!!!! Noooo……ain’t happening!!!
. So the angels prostrated themselves, all of them: Except Iblis (Satan) he was proud and was one of
the disbelievers. (Allah) said: "O Iblis (Satan)! What prevents you from
prostrating yourself to one whom I have created with Both My Hands. Are you too
proud (to fall prostrate to Adam) or are you one of the high exalted?. [Iblis (Satan)]
said: "I am better than he, You created me from fire, and You created him
from clay.. (Allah) said: "Then get
out from here, for verily, you are outcast. "And
verily!, My Curse is on you till the Day of Recompense." [Iblis (Satan)] said: "My Lord! Give me
then respite till the Day the (dead) are resurrected." (Allah)
said: "Verily! You are of those allowed respite"Till
the Day of the time appointed." [Iblis (Satan)]
said: "By Your Might, then I will surely mislead them all, "Except
Your chosen slaves amongst them (faithful, obedient, true believers of Islamic
Monotheism)."
Surah Saad 38:73-83
So now, I keep telling
myself to stop being judgmental because, being judgmental is also being
arrogant. Appearance is not everything as it can also be deceiving. Have you
heard of the phrase “A wolf in a sheep’s skin?” Well that, in my opinion, aptly
describes about ‘appearance’…..
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