Great Expectations

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are” - Donald Miller,

The Wise Owl used to tell me to stop having expectations. He used to tell me, "sister, don't expect anything from God Almighty as He will give when He decides to give. Don't expect anything from people as they may not measure up when you want them to. When you don't have expectations, everything good is a bonus." I must admit that what he said is so very true.

Recently, God decided to cross my path with a group a people from a completely different walk of life. When I first met them, the Wise Owl's advice immediately came into mind. So instead of trying to read them by the way they were dressed, like I was trained to, I opened up my heart and my ears. MasyaAllah! I found them to be truly gifted people. They taught me a thing or two about love, honesty and loyalty. Most of all, they showed me the true meaning of sincerity.

Every time God throws a person in my path, I know that I'm supposed to learn something from him or her. I met a couple who dedicate their entire waking hours thinking of ways to do good deeds. To me,  they give a new meaning to the phrase 'living life to the fullest'. I must admit how I envy their ability to do good.

Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said:"Allah does not look at your appearances or your financial status, but He looks at your hearts and your actions."  (Al-Bukhari)

If you think about it, when we have expectations, we are in fact judging a person in accordance to our own standards. If that person didn't measure up then we deemed him or her as a failure and we get disappointed or upset. Truthfully, it is us who have actually failed. We failed to accept people as they are, limitations and all.

Now, I truly understand that when it comes to life, my teacher does not  necessarily have to be an Islamic scholar or someone who memorized the holy Quran. Anyone can be your teacher. It's just a matter of whether you are humbled enough to be a student. I had a stranger who came to me, one day, asking me to not stop writing as my ramblings had helped her. She in turn, had taught me to hope when I was at the brink of giving up.  

Like I said, anyone can be your teacher. In fact, to me, the best teachers are the ones who touched your heart and leaves a mark, whoever he or she might be.....

Meet and Greet session

There will be a Meet and Greet session this Wednesday, 29th April 2015. Do come...

 

When will I be Famous?

“The life given us, by nature is short; but the memory of a well-spent life is eternal.” ― Marcus Tullius Cicero

I am not a well known actress nor am  I a world class singer. I am not an aspiring politician. The only people who knows me are my friends and families. I am actually a no-body. In fact, I think some of my acquaintances and friends have even forgotten about me.

I am a simple person with simple needs but I harbor a secret desire. A desire to be famous.....

 One day, the Wise Owl told me a story about one of the companion of Prophet pbuh. During the burial of this blessed sahabah, Prophet pbuh had to walk on tip toe as if there was a crowd because of the vast number of angels present. SubhanAllah! This sahabah was held in high esteem in the eyes of God and was famous amongst the angels because of his deeds during his lifetime. I sat there, staring at the Wise Owl in amazement, with my mouth opened. Imagine having thousands of angels attending your funeral and making dua for you. Such honor!

The Wise Owl said that to secure the love of our Creator requires work. It's not impossible but it demands some sacrifices to be made.

Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When Allah loves a person, He calls Jibreel and says: ‘I love So and so, so love him.’ So Jibreel loves him, then he calls out to the people of heaven, ‘Allah loves So and so, so love him.’ So the people of heaven love him and he finds acceptance on earth. If Allah hates a person, He calls Jibreel and says: ‘I hate So and so, so hate him.’ So Jibreel hates him, then he calls out to the people of heaven: ‘Allah hates So and so, so hate him.’ So they hate him and he is hated on earth.” 
Sahih Bukhari

Looking back, I know that I have indeed been blessed. What I possess may not be much to others but to me, it is abundance. I am grateful.

But, still.....I long to be famous.....in God's eyes and amongst the angels. I don't know if my deeds are accepted or my sacrifices are enough but I must at least try.

 Now tell me, don't you wish to be famous too?

New Book

Alhamdulillah, the new Malay book is out. There will be a meet & greet as well as signing session on the 29th April 2015 from 3.00 - 4.00 pm, at the International Book Festival at Putra World Trade Centre. If you are free, do come along....

Chasing away the blues.....

“The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.” ― Eric Hoffer

Something totally unexpected happened to me after I gave birth recently. One fine day, I woke up feeling utterly depress. It was like doom and gloom. I couldn’t find the cause of my depression, which made me even more depress. I became anxious, agitated, paranoid and tearful. 

I consulted my gynae thinking that was it was just hormonal imbalance considering my age but she was of the opinion that I was experiencing ‘post-natal’ depression and suggested that I see ‘someone’, meaning a shrink. Errrr….ok….Then, I spoke to a close friend who is also a gynae and she also diagnosed the same thing. Hhmmmm…Somehow, the idea of seeing a psychiatrist didn’t sit too well with me. It may be that some of my friends think I’m mental but I’m not crazy you know………

I mean…….Seriously? 

At first I found it impossible to believe because to me, only first time mothers experience post natal blues and not one who had just given birth her fifth child! But, truth remained, all the symptoms were there. One way or the other, I needed help.

One of the things that I noticed was that I lost the ability to write. My mind was completely blank. I couldn’t even put together a proper sentence in my head, let alone compose a paragraph. Everything was a blur. That, effectively got me upset even further. 

Truth is, we (myself included) tend to take a lot things that has been given to us by God for granted. We failed to appreciate the simple things, which are blessing, that we have until it is taken away from us. Friends, families, good job, money, good health and the list goes on.

You see, writing has always been my passion and to have it taken away from me, even for the briefest moment, was pure agony. I felt lost and useless. I also felt like the dumbest person on earth. It was like whatever knowledge that I had that was bestowed by Him, was taken away. I wasn’t even sure if the knowledge would ever be returned to me. Even though it was just the ability to think and write and not even something more severe like my sight or limbs but it was enough to make me realize that whatever God has given us, He can easily take it away in a flash. 

Could it be that I have not been grateful enough?

“Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?”

Surah Ar Rahman 55:13

“And whatever of blessings and good things you have, it is from Allah. Then, when harm touches you, unto Him you cry aloud for help.”

Surah An Nahl 16:53

Maybe, I was too busy with my ‘worldly’ life that I didn’t thank Him enough. Maybe, I didn’t repent for the sins that I consciously or sub-consciously committed recently. Maybe, I committed a wrong against another person. Maybe, maybe, maybe…..

The thing is, I can sit and ponder about the ‘maybes’ until the cows come home but it would not solve my predicament. I realized that there was only one thing to do….

            Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

            "Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return"

So……..million dollar question…Did I manage to chase my blues away? 

Alhamdulillah, I have had help and support from family and friends and I am slowly but surely on the road to recovery. I am not completely whole yet so do forgive me if my writing is a blubbering mess but let me give you this tiny piece of important advice….when in need, turn to God Al Mighty FIRST. Beg for forgiveness and guidance from Him. Be patient and have faith. Beg for His help and He in turn, will grant you His mercy and send people to help you….

            “And your Lord says, "Call upon Me; I will respond to you."

            Surah Ghafir 40:60

Worldly Possessions..

“If you have clutter, you're richer than you think!”
― Donna Smallin Kuper

A couple weeks ago, I was suddenly seized by a panic attack. I realised that I had too much stuff. More than I needed. I immediately started my de-cluttering mode. I was truly afraid I would be deemed as `wasteful` for having so much stuff. I was scared out of my wits that if I were to die that instance, I would not be able to justify my worldly possessions. Yikes!

I made a promise to myself a long time ago, never to become a hoarder again and though I did not quite break my promise, I did in actual fact cluttered my closet again. Sigh!

The thing is, I did it absent mindedly. Yeah, I know! Such a lame excuse to give but honestly I did it subconsciously. I bought the stuff thinking that I will use it later, chucked it in the closet and forgot all about it. It was only when hubbs casually commented about my 'un-used' stuff that I snapped out of my stupor and took a good look at my closet and other storage area. SubhanAllah!

Luckily, it wasn't as bad as last time but it wasn't good either.

"And render to the kindred their due rights, as (also) to those in want, and to the wayfarer: But squander not (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift. Verily spendthrifts are brothers of the Evil Ones; and the Evil One is to his Lord (himself) ungrateful."
Surah Isra 17:26-27

What a person need is very subjective but truthfully, we can survive on very little. Anything that is extra is actually a luxury. It is better to give away stuff that we don't use. Let others who need it put it into good use. Giving away your worldly possession is also an act of charity and InshaAllah you will reap reward for. Charity is not about giving money only. Smiling is also a form of charity. The Wise Owl once told me that the best charity is to give away the things that we love.

The Prophet SAW also said: "Every act of goodness is charity." - Sahih Muslim, Hadith 496

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises." He was then asked: "From what do we give charity every day?" The Prophet answered: "The doors of goodness are many...enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one's legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one's arms--all of these are charity prescribed for you." He also said: "Your smile for your brother is charity." - Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98

I must constantly remind myself to keep things simple. No more clutter. Stick to the basic.....May God grant me ease....Ameen.....

Lost and found.......

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.”
― Henry Ward Beecher

Of late, I was feeling kinda blue. Maybe it was a mild post-natal depression (it's real and it exist!) Or maybe I was just overwhelmed with my current situation.

Tonight, hubbs and I received very special visitors -our roommates during hajj. It's always a pleasure to see them and tonight was no different. Hajj was one of the best experiences of my life and given the chance, I would like to go again, In Sha Allah.

Anyway, the ladies and I were reminiscing about our experience and they reminded me about the time I was chased by a very handsome Arab guy as I was entering our tent site in Mina. That handsome guy was in charge of the catering for our tent and he had chased me down, thinking that I've lost my way. You see, I was in all black - abaya, hijab and niqab. He thought I was an Arab woman, lost in a Malaysian camp site. After showing my identification tag, he apologised and after that our group got extra drinks and fruits for each meal. That was a truly a blessing in disguise, if you asked me.

We also talked about the baby and the sleepless night I was having and also about our deeds after hajj. I mentioned to them that I was feeling very overwhelmed and wished I have more time to perform certain acts of worship. One of the sisters commented that by doing every single thing in our lives for in God's name and for His sake, our entire life is an act of worship. Subhanallah! She's right! How can I forget that? Sometimes, we need someone to point out the obvious to us because we tend to get caught in things.

I feel very grateful that whenever I feel lost, I will seek Him for guidance and God will always send someone to set me back on track, like tonight. I found a way to chase my blues away ....

What I'm trying to say is, if you feel lost, just make dua and He will respond. Also do not feel guilty if you ever feel overwhelmed with your situation or life because I believe it's God way of asking you to find Him.....