“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” ― Edmund Burke
I know that I have been quiet these last two weeks. Reason being, I have been busy trying to proof-read the draft of my second book. Don’t get me wrong. I’m offering my explanation not because that I think anyone would miss the absence of my blog entry, but, in case my friends or relative are wondering if I have been abducted by aliens or whether I am in fact, still breathing…
Just the other day, I was actually given a back-hand insult by a friend. I know of the nasty streak that this, unfortunate friend posses but, that day, this friend made me the target. Let’s just call this person ‘fulan’.
At first, I was reeling from shock. Then, when I recovered, I felt angry then sad. Thank God the anger was short lived otherwise you would find a charred remains of fulan after I have breathed fire and scorched fulan to death! You know, me, the once fire breathing she-dragon!
Actually, in the past, I would have reacted and retaliated in kind. I would have blasted fulan off nastily but that day I didn’t. I kept quiet, turned around and walked away. It was that moment that I realised that I have changed. Maybe I am mellowing in my old age but I would like to think that I have finally conquered my inner demon.
Honestly, I can’t pretend that I was not hurt and truthfully, I’m still am but, I gathered all my strength to walk away. The insult that was hurled to me was uncalled for and to make it worst, what fulan had uttered was actually a malicious lie. In fact, it was ‘fitna’.
When I walked away, I was actually seething with anger but I knew that if I were to reply in an equally nasty way, I would be stooping to fulan's level. God had in fact shown me how a sick heart and a defective tongue, can do damage to another, so I better take heed to the lesson God is trying to teach me. Gosh! Was I ever like that? If I was, then I do seek forgiveness from all those whom I had hurt. One thing for sure, I do not want to be like fulan. I want to be better….
After I had cooled down, I made a dua to God Al Mighty to protect me from the whispering of satan, to douse my anger and to remove the pain. The Wise Owl had once 'lectured' me about accepting God’s creation so I accepted that God had created fulan as such, nasty and all. Instead of praying for God to punish fulan, I simply prayed that God deals with fulan as He sees fit. Then, I forgave and moved on. I erased the whole incident out of mind, as nasty people do not deserve a space in my memory bank.
I also remembered something that the Wise Owl said a while ago. He said that, sometimes, the nastiness and rudeness in a person is actually a tell-tale sign of misery or profound sadness. It could mean that the person is really unhappy and miserable that they lash out on others. You know, like a wounded animal. Try getting near an injured cat. It will not welcoming you with purring and moewing but instead it will be hissing and barring its fangs at you.
These people feel that because they are miserable, they need to inflict the same pain on others. Their target is normally happy, chirpy people. We need to always be careful so that we do not become like them.
Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The faith of a servant is not upright until his heart is upright, and his heart is not upright until his tongue is upright. A man will not enter Paradise if his neighbor is not secure from his evil.”
Hadith Ahmad 12636
The Wise Owl also said that we have two options when we are faced with these kinds of people. One, is to walk away from them and stay away. Two, is try to help them. You may be blistered with their nasty words many times before they eventually change but if you have the patient and a big heart, then you should try to do it.
One thing that we should never do, is, to curse them because it can back-fire. The curse might come back to us.
“Abu Ad-Darda reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Verily, when a servant curses something, the curse rises to the heaven and the gates of heaven close upon it. It turns right and left and if it does not find somewhere to go, it will return to that which was cursed only if it deserved to be curse, otherwise the curse will return to the one who made it.”
Sunan Abu Dawud 4905
Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “The believer does not taunt others, he does not curse others, he does not use profanity, and he does not abuse others.”
Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1977
The moral of story is, guard your tongue. Often, our tongue is one that lands us in trouble. Secondly, no one can hurt us unless we let them. Thirdly, forgive, forget and move on.
Abdullah ibn Mas’ud reported: He stood upon a platform and he grabbed his tongue and he said, “O tongue! Speak goodness and be rewarded, or remain silent and be safe before you are regretful.” Then he said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, say, “Most of the sins of the children of Adam are on their tongues.”
[At-Tabarani, Mu’jam Al-Kabeer, Number 10300, Sahih]
I’m sure you guys are wondering which of the two options, that was given by the Wise Owl, I took? Well…..the Wise Owl is almost a saint! His conduct and footsteps echoes the Prophet SAW’s. He will definitely take the 2nd option. Me? Are you kidding??? My footsteps still echoes Cruella DeVill ! BUT! I am still trying, so for now, I think it is safer for both me and fulan, if I were to keep my distance. Never know…I might suffer a relapse and turn back into a fire breathing she-dragon if sorely provoked…… muahahahah….